I just managed to sit down to my blog after a few weeks…eek sorry, time flies!
I somehow survived the chaotic mix of finals, moving out of my dorm, and getting surgery this past Monday. For those of you who haven’t already read on the TeenCP Facebook page, I severely fractured my left (CP) foot earlier this month, so to make sure that I heal well enough, I decided to go ahead and implant a screw in my bone. Funny enough, this was the exact same surgery I got a year ago, on my right foot due to a fracture from trying to run too much. I guess you could say I like to go hard haha. I’m still learning how to better listen to my body and be more careful. Since my CP affects only my left side, I have had many complications with evening the strength between both sides of my body and I’ve had a few injuries as a result. Fortunately, I am able to stay active and have so much knowledge about weight training and cardio since my parents are hardcore fitness gurus! I find that being active has actually made my CP better since I am stronger, and I am not as susceptible to bone deterioration and muscle atrophy–especially as I age!
Anyway, I am feeling much better today, since having my surgery and the time to recover after. It is nice being done with school for the summer season, but I have about another week before I start two small internships! I am very excited, but hope that my body will be able to keep up with me. That is why I am giving myself an extra week to take it easy. Gettin around on crutches is so tiring and makes it hard to do small tasks. I am used to being much more independent, so it’s been an adjustment–things always are with CP. But hey, we were built to adapt, right? I truly think it takes a special person to deal with having a disability, or any condition that makes things harder on their life, and especially when it is lifelong. Every time I go through a CP struggle whether it is physical or emotional, I always take it as an opportunity to reflect and go stronger as an individual. It is hard and exhausting always being tested by my body, but I find that it just makes me all the more determined to become a more successful person. It is that competitive nature inside of me that comes out during tough times. My resilience and integrity steps up without me even realizing it at the moment! I was writing in my journal yesterday just to get my emotions a little break from my surgery, and made a conscious effort to write something inspirational so that my future self can look back on whatever it is I wrote and smile and feel motivated by my own struggle whenever something difficult comes up in my life. I always try to tell myself, and maybe it’ll work for you too– whenever I go through something hard, or embarrasing, or sucky, I just tell myself that I can get through anything if I’m living through this!! I find that it helps me put it all into perspective. Life doesn’t give you CP just to give you a hard time, we have CP because we can handle it and learn from it. I like to see everything in life as having some sort of purpose for me, and having CP for me is a test. It’s a test that likes to mess with my will, my strength, and even sometimes my happiness. What do you see your CP as?
For all you college kids out there, I was bummin hard this week because all of my classmates were partying it up to celebrate the end of finals, and I was stuck getting surgery and on pain meds for that whole time. I felt like I wanted to get angry at my CP for causing me to sometimes miss out on the occasional “normal” things that (in the long run) are minor, but it still made me feel shitty. I just wanted to do something to kick off my summer and successful GPA and there I was crying about it in bed feeling like sorry for myself when no one else around my really ‘got it’. My friends at school sent me a text or wished me well, but I couldn’t help but feel bitter about it when I saw how much fun they were having on Facebook. (sounds silly, right) And for some reason I even grew mad at everyone for not having to go through what I am going through. Of course I would never wish this upon anyone, but I just wanted people to understand how lucky they are with their health and happiness and freedom. I’ll just attribute that to my momentary stubbornness and bitterness about my CP.
Alright, enough of my rambling…I just had to get this out there before it burst inside of me. I’ve been doing a whole lot of nothing this past week, and I just can’t wait to feel healthy again!! Take care everyone, thank for reading. I hope you are all happy and healthy and get to enjoy your summer freedom!!